Stop
Bullying
Adrian H. Cline,
Superintendent
What is
bullying?
Bullying is where a child or group of children keep taking advantage of the
power they have to hurt or reject someone else. Some of the ways children bully
another child include: calling them names, or saying or writing nasty comments
about them, leaving them out of activities or not talking to them, threatening
them, or making them feel uncomfortable or scared, stealing or damaging their
things, hitting or kicking them, or making them do things they do not want to
do.
Why is bullying harmful?
Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for children to
learn to stick up for themselves.
Bullying can make children feel lonely, unhappy, frightened, unsafe and think
that there must be something wrong with them.
Signs
that might indicate your child is being bullied include stomach aches,
nightmares, reluctance to go to school and loss of confidence. They may lose
contact with friends and seem isolated.
Why do some children bully?
There are a lot of reasons why children bully. They may see it as a way of
being popular, showing off, or making themselves look tough. Some children
bully to get attention, and some just like making other people feel afraid of
them. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying, or might be
being bullied themselves. They may not even realize that what they are doing is
wrong and how it makes their victims feel.
Why are some children bullied?
Some young people are bullied for no particular reason, but usually it is
because they are different in some way - the way they talk, their size, or
their name. Sometimes young people are bullied because they look like they will
not stand up for themselves.
What can I do if my child is being bullied?
If your child is being bullied, listen
to what they are saying and be supportive.
It is important to make it clear it is not their fault. Ask your child how they
have been dealing with the bullying, talk about what else can be done and what
action you can both take to solve the problem. Reassure them you will consult
them before taking any action.
Discuss the bullying with other parents who may be able to suggest ways they
have helped their own children. Raise the issue with your child's school and
ask them what they will do to stop the bullying. Suggest that the school contact
the bully's parents. Keep working with the school until the bullying stops. You
could help your child develop a plan to deal with bullying, including how to
get help. For example, help your child list all the adults they trust, who they
could phone or go to for help. Write the names and phone numbers on a card that
they can carry with them.
Children should first try ignoring the bully, telling the bully to stop, and
walking away whenever the bullying starts.
Encourage your child to always tell an adult they can trust. Explain to them
this is not telling tales. They have a right to be safe.
There are a number of ways that you can encourage confidence in your child. You
could try pairing them with a more robust child for protection and as a role
model. Encourage them to spend time with
their friends and provide them with opportunities for making new friends. Bullies hardly ever pick on people if they are
with others in a group.
If your child is different in some way, help them to be proud of it. A
confident child is less likely to be bullied and will also be better able to
deal with any bullying which occurs.
What can I do if my child is the bully?
If you discover that your child is
being a bully, stay calm. Try to find out how and why they have been
behaving in this way. Explain to your child that bullying is wrong, and try to
get your child to understand what it is like for their victim. Ask how they
would feel if someone was bullying them. Talk about what they think might help
them to stop bullying and show them how to join in with other children without
bullying them. Praise them when they play cooperatively with other children
without resorting to bullying. Talk to your child's school to seek help from
school counselors. In some cases, parents can help by controlling their own
behavior and by making it clear that bullying is unacceptable. If you feel it's
appropriate, you may like to consider an anger management program for yourself
and your child.
Tell your children that they should never join in when someone else is being
bullied and that they should always try to help another child being bullied.
Tell them that doing nothing to stop bullying means that they are saying it is
okay.
Information
for this column was provided by the Telecom Corporation.
The
Office of Adrian H. Cline, Superintendent of Schools, is open from