How to
Survive the Teen Years
Adrian H. Cline,
Superintendent
Difficulties with teens are common. Discipline and academic problems at school
often result from tension at home. If
you feel unable to communicate with your teenager, try these strategies:
§
Let your
teenager know you care.
§
Pick your
battles carefully. It is easy to
constantly nag your teen, but you must decide what is important and what is not. Ignore insignificant issues and focus on the
bigger problems.
§
Enter into
a contract with your teen. Together,
write an agreement in which you set standards for behavior. Allow your teen to set standards for you; for
example, no referring to him or her by pet names, etc.
§
Find an
opportunity to focus on your teen’s academic goals. Is he or she working hard enough in
school? Is a he or she attending class
regularly? Is he or she too active in
extracurricular activities?
§
Create
opportunities for your teen to learn how to be responsible for his or her
actions. Do not become too involved in
his or her problems. This often makes
the problems worse. If you provide
encouragement, your teenager may be able to find the right solution without
your interference.
§
Recognize
the impact of peer pressure on your teen.
Try to understand his or her point of view.
§
Encourage
regular school attendance. Know when
your teen is sick and when there are other problems at school. Communicate frequently with your teen’s
teachers.
§
Attend
parent-teacher conferences. Work with
the teacher if there are problems, but resist the temptation to blame the
teacher or your teen. Listen with an
open mind, and share your feelings calmly.
Why
Your Child Needs Role Models
Chances are your youngster emulated you for the first seven
to ten years of his or her life. But for
the next decade or so, he/she will gradually pull away to seek independence and
discover his/her identity. Other adult
relationships will become increasingly important during this time, and it will
be your job to guide your son or daughter toward appropriate role models.
A role model should be a person your teen admires, looks up
to, and appreciates, such as a teacher, a coach, a relative, etc. The important thing is that the person be
consistent and caring. Heroes, such as
sports figures, are fine most of the time, but your teen also needs real-life
role models who can answer questions and help solve problems.
Appropriate adult role models increase the likelihood that
your child will stay away from alcohol and drugs during this volatile time
period.
You are the most important influence in your child’s life;
your attention and example will provide the foundation he or she needs to
become a competent and happy adult.
However, as your child begins the process of growing up, he or she will
walk often in the footsteps of others.
You should not feel “replaced.”
It so likely that when your child reaches adulthood, he or she will
always remember what you said, what you did, and the attitudes you displayed.
The Office of Adrian H.
Cline, Superintendent of Schools, is open from