Parents Matter: Tips for Raising Teenagers
Adrian
H. Cline, Superintendent
This column is Part III of the Parents Matter report prepared for the White House conference on
teenagers by:
Parents can do so much to foster their kids’ talents and
skills and guide them toward healthy development. Parents can also shape the
communities their children grow up in. Whether you’re concerned about drinking,
drugs, violence, trouble in school, smoking, or sex (or all of the above), the
best advice for parents is the same: stay closely connected to your teenage
sons and daughters. The following are ideas in addition to those outlined last
week that can help parents make a difference in the lives of their teens.
Set the right example.
Be a living day-to-day example of your values and standards. Show the
compassion, honesty, discipline, and openness you want your children to have.
If you abuse drugs or alcohol, know that your kids are watching and what they
observe may undercut your good intentions to keep them substance-free. Don’t
smoke or allow smoking in your home. Model non-violent behavior. If you want
young people to shun violence, you need to demonstrate how. Parents who are
dating should know that their kids see what they do, not just hear what they
say.
Pay attention
to kids before they get into trouble.
Programs and support for teens in trouble are great, but all
kids benefit from encouragement, attention, and support. Don’t focus attention
on them only when there’s a problem. Let your kids know you are proud of them
for doing the right thing – even when it seems like no big thing.
Watch for
signs that your teenager needs help.
Learn the signs of drug and alcohol use, school failure, depression, and
violence. Here are some clues to watch for: large amounts of time spent alone
in isolation from family and friends, sudden changes in school performance,
drastic mood swings or changes in behavior, lack of interest in hobbies or
social and recreational activities, and changes in your child’s peer group or
separation from long-time friends. Don’t be afraid to step in and seek outside
help.
Make your home safe and teach your kids the importance of
safety.
If you own guns, make sure that they are kept locked up. Don’t bring illegal
drugs into your home, and keep your liquor cabinet locked. Make sure your teens
wear seatbelts, get good drivers’ education, and know the danger of drinking
and driving.
Know what
your kids are watching, reading, and listening to.
It is your role as a parent to serve as a filter between the
media and your child. Even teens need guidance to become educated media
consumers. Watch television or listen to music with your children and help them
understand the difference between real life and what gets portrayed in the
media. Look for teachable moments; characters and stories shown in the media
often provide opportunities for talking about issues that concern you or your
children.
Get involved in your community.
Parents can make a real difference
in the lives of their children and teens, but parents can’t fix all the
problems their kids face. Parents must get involved in changing the environment
in which teens face tough challenges and choices. The more your community
supports the positive development of teens, the easier it will be for you to do
your job as a parent. Encourage schools and other organizations to adopt and
enforce tobacco- and drug-free campuses. Advocate for teen-friendly and safe
places that are drug-free, alcohol-free, and smoke-free. Join community
organizations that promote policies to help kids, like restricting the
marketing of tobacco to children or reducing community violence. Help other
teens in your community by becoming a mentor or employing teens at your place
of work. Get involved with the youth group at your place of worship or local
community center.
The Office of Adrian H. Cline,
Superintendent of Schools, is open from