The Difference Between Tattling and Reporting

Adrian H. Cline, Superintendent

April 22, 2003

 

 

Kids who tattle always get a bad rap, as they should.  However, there is a difference between tattling and reporting.

 

Tattling is telling an adult about another student’s actions with the sole purpose of getting attention and getting that student in trouble. 

 

Reporting is telling an adult about another student’s actions for the purpose of getting help with a difficult situation—one that may be threatening or harmful.

 

Explain clearly to children the difference between tattling and reporting.  Brainstorm with them various situations that illustrate the difference, or role-play situations to demonstrate it.

 

Reporting violence, bullying, and sexual harassment is not tattling.  It can often make the difference in a child’s safety, mental well-being, and self-esteem.

 

 

Helping Your Child Feel Loved

 

 

As busy parents, it is not always easy to show our children the unconditional love they deserve.  We often forget that they need constant affirmation and support.

 

Here are some ways to let your children know they are loved:

·        Play with them.  Whether you play “cars” with your five-year-old, Monopoly with an older child, or baseball with your teen, nothing says love like a little one-on-one time. 

·        Listen to your children, and validate their ideas. 

·        Modify your schedule to allow more time with your children.  Kids need a routine to give them a sense of security and control, but the schedule should not be too rigid. 

·        Appreciate the time you spend with your children.  Try to spend special time with each of them.

·        Hug your children.  Teenagers might shrug you off, but hug them anyway.  If you do not, they will never forget it!

·        Apologize when you are wrong.  We all make mistakes from time to time.  A sincere apology shows that you respect your child.

 

 

 

When Children Lie

 

Children lie for many reasons.  They lie to get things they want, to keep themselves out of trouble, to cover embarrassment, and sometimes because they do not make a clear distinction between fact and fiction.

 

Here are some tips to help you stop this behavior before it escalates:

·        Tell your child that it is wrong to tell lies and that lies can hurt people. 

·        Tell him or her that it makes you sad when he or she says things that are not true.

·        Explain that he or she will feel better if he or she tells the truth.

·        If your child comes to you with the truth, do not lecture.  Thank him or her for telling you, and then focus on finding a solution or imposing a necessary consequence, without anger. 

·        Set a clear example of truth and honesty.  Children have difficulty making the distinction between “lies” and “little white lies.”  When your child hears you telling “little white lies,” you are teaching your child to be dishonest.

 

Teaching your child the value of telling the truth takes time and patience.  As a parent, you must model a clear example of truth and honesty.

 

The Office of Adrian H. Cline, Superintendent of Schools, is open from 7:00 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. Monday – Friday.  Please visit the district web site at:  www.desotoschools.com.